fcuk.wanted to blog, but lazy lah.maybe later or tml ;D all those tml o lvl good luck!

signs are showing.
her lifeforce is waning.
the urge to live on is fading.
each time i close my eyes.
i think of it.
though i WAS not close to her from young.
seeing her like that just break me down.
all i hope now is to make her life better.

holy shyt. kelvin put my aeroplane. dammit. no swimming today? ahhhhh. but nevermind lah, i will start revising my studies a lil and get ready for my follow up exercise tml. my whole body is aching due to my 8-month rest period of exercising.lol. sorry lahs, i was a POTATO. lmao. hmmm. hope im a ble to keep up with it. yes, im getting my protein powder soon couple with creatine i guess. hmmm. was checking on many stuff on it. caffine and ephedra are actually harmful, i decided not to take the risk of such stuff, though it says weight lost but its short term i guess and i prefer doing it the classic way of dieting and exercising! more determination though, lol.

uh oh, a sore throat is coming!!! alienated molecules are breeding!

official. im fat. 61-63kg balloned to now 67. 31-32 inch to now 34.5-45.
therefore a extreme measure gonna take place, hardcore workout and diet ;)

yst paper is hopeless, if i pass, i'd be uber happy man. fuck, in the middle of the paper, i caught on a headache. i think its a FEVER! till now the headache still persist while i have slept close to 12 hours man. i had 4 dreams with i will not elaborate.hehe. pretty sweet i'd say, hope it happens. lmao.ok la, time to brush teeth and head back to sleep to rid the headache.

STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.STUDY.study.
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lol.yea, i agree that irc are full of shit. so far i have seen, not much of nice people around. people who are stucked up and are warped in the personal logics. on the bright side i have met some nice peeps in there =] namely lisaa, joan, saddist, mich ,sha sha, xcreax. thats about it i guess. maybe 1 or 2 more nicks that leaked out of my mind. i have been in irc on and off for like 9 years? or maybe 1 or 2 years short. to be frank, i did not change much till after my secondary sch end. i look back at my past, its so horrid that i cant believed i survived it. and those actions i have done, yes it was me. somehow i feel like "what the fuck was i thinking at that that time?" , "damn, i was sucky." i knew i reacted to the situation. i was trying to minimise my pain i guess but in the attempt i deepen stuff.

all these gradually accumulate up forming to my crappy past. how i wish i could turn back time but i simply cant. i simply have to live my life trying to bury my past. i tried to be a better man, perhaps i succeeded perhaps i did not. i'd never know. my life is slowly fitting into the image i have painted. as strong i can be, as generous i can be. i look normal, or even brave by taking things in my stride. dammit, im human too. it WILL affect me. each time a scar in the sands of time resurface, i sink deeper into my pool of agony.

those who act oh so good or whatever. u bitch behind people's back doing what people what u dont want to do on u.FUG off bitches.for u do not have the ability to conjure up to see beyond peoples past and get in touch with their true soul.just sew up your rosy lips =] if you cant believe what people can do, dont say they are lying or boasting cos u may nv know yea? well of cos, lets so say when its pretty obvious. well, everyone should be given the benefit of doubt.learn. and one thing, how can people believe rumors? lol.i wonder.

*add on* im officially quitting IRC.cheers =]

no use pin pointing fingers, particularly listing out the name. i dont want to. pointless i'd say. but i frankly think that the person is either RETARDED or have some serious mental blocks.lol. i have a barrage of thoughts to list on, esp my rantings. lol.shall spare my dear peeps the agony eh? ^^

well well well.finished my SBS PAPER! yay. =] leaving me with televsion and radio production & techniques of pro. writing and speaking. hohoho.so much to study. i realised i fcuked my life so bad.lmao.to glued to my anime, vcds and guildwars. time to take a step back and get my life in order. i have stopped reading, argg, time to get back to it. only when i have many problems in spelling, i realise my english is having some rather serious problems. time to dig the dictionary more often! and re-read my old books to substain my level of english. looking at my fellow peeps, i lagging behind BIG TIME. =( i have wasted months doing non productive items.i decided to lead a more fulfilling life i guess. =]

well here are some pics.enjoy.*edited* shall add later i guess.blogger is giving me some silly problems =(

since i cant have pics, i decided to blabber a lil more =]

went to visit my maternal grandparents.my mom was worried so i went down to have a look how are stuff 1st as my dearest mummy has to head back to office to finish up her work.went down to hg, they were pretty alright i guess, cant really see that they were sick.i pity them, having nothing to do but watch tv. i feel guilty, so i will make more trips down to accompany them if i can =]

my bro and mom is back per normal after the hugh episode, i feel extremely elated bout it =)

i hope i will be able to lighten and brighten people's life around me =) and boy, do i wish to see them smile with a glint when their times is up. to see one life form journey end with wishes fulfilled is something so beautiful. i wonder has my anguish simmered or is it yet repressed in me. lol. i wonder when can i reach the pit of my abyss. perhaps more knowledge would empower me to progress and advance further. anyone got books on emotional intel?!

btw, im looking for songs by third eye blind! and this song on my blog ghost of you and me - bbmak.anyone can help me find? pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. ^^

okay, my stomach is kicking up a fuss. have to babysit it now, lol.so i will be entertaining my stomach in a jiffy. anyone who reads my blog pls tag! ^^.well, i will bum back here in due time i suppose, so... tata my folks!

done my paper, i screwed up.forgot the answers to 2 questions out of my 5.arg. amazingly i slept through my dinner time to 1++ am. lol. now now, my head is pounding. my stomach is calling. my mind is wanting. what should i do?
i think i will eat then game a lil before heading back to paradise. =D

ahaha.talking to gina, she say i DAO KIA.dammit.what u want me to do.u msg me in msn, i was in wonderland.how to reply =.= lol. LAZY TO BLOG liao.later upload some pics.hoho.

lol, woke up at 3+ am. all revved up to study after a nice nap and a lazing ard session. ;) time to bath and have some bfast before i start sttudying. mai siao siao. prolly one of those rare moments where i'd make some effort to study. maybe its cos i dont have much confidence in this module? lol.i cant use my 1 hr cramming. bahs.

MORNING =D well.its crunch time.

beepo beepo! lol. im just plain bored. tml is the paper. just got the exam tips frm my fren. imagine tml is a full 3 hr paper and here i am being a POTATO. hmmmm. the blogging scene shit came up to me.

1. govt bo bian, need to act good guy to protect ppl's name
2) govt WONT mind more money
3) those stupid bloggers dont have brains? how the hell they get caught?

blogging is for the sole purpose. ARE WE WRONG TO have a mind of our own? man, must everyone be a doll made by the factory with a MADE in CHINA or INDIA tag? damn. its just comments. its so obvious that bitching is going on everywhere, everyone gets bitched behind them, YES. EVERYONE. the ppl who sued, are they so godly that they have to own ppl using the govt. duh. they are not fairy or anything, they did mistakes in life. cant they forgive? bahs.

damn.i wonder why are ppl stupid enough to get sued.just dont mention those gay name or distort it a lil and they will be safe. hohoho.sure nubs exist.ahhhh.

i got back my IPOD brand new.wooo. and yes, i bought my transflash memory card.128mb for 52.90.saw it online for 30 bucks in the auction but i cant wait for 5 days, wayyyyy too impatient! lol. the memory is so tinnnnny 1/3 or even SMALLER than a freaking sim card.lmao. getting my skin for it tml. deciding between a leather one or a stick on skin.prices differ alot. =.=

hohoo.time to sleep or game.tml morning mugging! lol.ciaos

5.14 am. lols. thats the time yet. peeps will ask me "WAH, u wake up so early for what" lol.got that a couple of times frm last week. yes, i know i screwed my biological time so bad.sleep when everyones awake and being awake when everyone is preparing to have dinner or sleep. i dont know how im going to study for my exams for friday but i will force myself to do something about it. lols. *prays.

just have i buried myself thinking i was scammed of 250 bucks. they called and said my certificate is ready.WOOOO.hmmm. a course i went, 1 day.lol. suddenly, it stuck me again that i havent collect my pathetic o lvl cert.lol. well, i got my role, a roving reporter! hohoho.what show is it.cant reveal, its in the contract. the pay is SO LOW. $50 for each session. depending how long i take to interview ppl.lol, dont let me catch u! xD i dont really care about the pay liao. if i do a great job in it, it'd definitely useful when i enter the media industry later on in my life.

ahhhh.by 19 must have my appointment for medical check up and test date be up.must go online.AHHHHHHH.i hope i wont forget.lol. SBS exams this friday.tsk tsk, social behaviour, its the SAME as social psychology. dammit.its alot to read up on. those layman words for it is hell of a chunk to remember. damn. i am pathetic. with my f9 standard in english, i gonna have a hard time.PERHAPS (lol.ok, sorry for being sarcastic)

bah bah bah bah. been doing stupid stuff like logging into my ex-gf frenster and hotmail. i dont know why i did it. such actions disgusts my yet i did it. damn. i felt so bad. shes single now, lmao. but whats over is over. i dont want to detour. seeing her stuff. i realise something, guys in singapore IS SO aggreesive. or maybe its just that i show learn to be more aggressive and initiate stuff.

one thing i cant understand why singaporeans cant take the back seat. hope u guys learn to enjoy life like me, cheers ;)

damn! todays hmc paper was alright i guess,shouldnt have wasted time to study at all.now i missed my sleep and im so sleepy =.= and my frens chee xiong and kelvin ask me go jog at this time and go to kelvin hse to game.wah lao eh.tiring leh.

btw i will have pics on my sch soon.its just a old sch with a new shell.it sucks.lol.bahs.no time to blog !

*edited* the link was taken away.it was niled after yst.sorry!

hohoho.new blog skin =] hmmm.wasted 9 days not studying.papers this wed.now now.i gonna die =(

bahs. somehow somewhere a familar old face resurfaced, one that i thought would be hiden forever. but hes back to haunt me. well. through time i gain some level of immunity against it. as hard i want to rid it, shards of it remain in my blood shed path. *the rest of i want to reveal shall not be told amongst common folks*

weee.wanted to swim on friday, reach there 8.40 they tell me n my fren tt they were gonna close by 9. so we were like, holy milking cow! sian diao.lol. then we decided to catch a movie. had a hard time choosing though. my fren was bend on watching a CARTOON, corpse bride. bahs. was VERY reluctant on it but after the movie started rolling. i got slightly hooked onto it. the plot was kinda predictable, to me at least. well, it was sweet, nothing to dislike about the plot, nicely done. i highly encourage fellow peeps to watch it. it has loads of classic catchy folk songs. and the lyrics is pretty interestin` i'd say.

a vcd i would definitely introduce to everyone is this jap one called "crying out love, in the center of the world" real real touching love story i'd say.so far besides FFx storyline, none had such ability to invoke such feelings. amazing,awesome, words just justify the movie as i was totally mesmerized by it. a heart warming tale of love. i seldom have the patient nor the mood to catch one but the words "best selling , top movie" blah blah made me decide to give it a go and yes, i was transported to the world where love actually existed.

i caught millor dollar baby (another thumbs up move), DODGE BALL, american pie 3 (damn, it was so nice. outstandingly hilarious too ;) ) Triple x 2, shall we dance (damn J Lo acting was stiff aside the sleek salsa moves) this week.well.kinda hungry for more~ ^^

panda : damn! i lost tooooooo a OREO? how can u? lol.

lisa : wooo heres my update =]

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4 para gone.see no point in puttin up for everyone to see what has happen.for now, lifes back to normal =)

kays, im off.

testin~

ooo.so this is how i add pics.ok sorry.im a noob.lol. i love to see them milk my aiai.MILK!

a lil taggie is residing here ;)