i wondered, pondered, dreamed, wished, yearned. u name it i done it.
my life seem good to many huh? everyone's life seems good i suppose. how i wished i dont have the life i have now. i led a charmed jinx life. bless with brains and looks above average i suppose. but what i got in exchange of that? fail relationships, not fitting in with the masses, outcasted. boredom and loneliness probably ruled 99% of my life. all i can do to entertain myself, creating illusions. im tired of this urban lifestyle cos i never fit in. its a world of dog eat dog. i dont know who are people i can trust, make friends with. even if i tried, i never succeed. everyone just makes use of me. im there for them - always. even readers of my blog, havent you?
so easy to deny it. let me ask you, did you remember my birthday? bought my birthday present? bought chritmas presents? called me on gatherings, ask me out?
not that i say im asking much lah, but all i want is that thought. but it never did exsist. maybe u will think in your mind "you never also". i did in my mind. sometimes i tried, i fail or at times, i dont even get the chance to.
there might be souls, one of them. lisa.
maybe im not good enough for any of you.
FUCK THE WORLD.
